He knocked me out with a frisbee
by Addy01
Summary: For Kaito, there could have been worse ways to meet Kudo Shinichi in real life than to accidentally give the detective a concussion. For Shinichi, there are worse people he could have broken down to besides Kaitou KID. Prequel to 'A new lease of life'.


He knocked me out with a frisbee

by Addy01

Note: Didn't get this one in time for the Poirot Cafe Contest, but I manage to get it done in the end. On the flip side, I got more written down that I would have to otherwise trim if I had submitted it for the contest. So here it is.

And, now that I am done with it, I'm starting to feel fiffy about this fic. in fact, it was sitting in my G drive for months! But I'm posting it up anyway before I decide to scrap the whole fic...hope you guys enjoyed.

Many thanks to Semi-Retired Writer, Taliya and Cesela for beta-ing, looking over it, questioning everything to make sure this is somewhat a decent piece! Any mistakes are my own

Warning: Pre-kaishin if you really really squint - so it's up to you to interpret it :D

-o-

Of all the ways Kuroba Kaito had expected to officially meet Kudo Shinichi in real-life (as in not as Kaitou KID and his flamboyant white suit – which, while dashing on him, he would admit was rather tacky and out-of-date), accidentally hitting the detective in the head with a Frisbee wasn't one of them.

He had heard through the grapevine via his spy-doves that Tantei-kun had managed to return to being Meitantei a few months ago, and now attended the same university as him.

While he did not try to actively avoid the detective (read: hack into the university server to find Kudo's timetable), Kaito _did_ make sure to try not to bump into him on campus, (read: hiding in conveniently placed hedges or in the janitor's closet whenever he spotted the detective heading his way…)

 _… oh okay, fine. He was actively avoiding Mentantei..._

After all, Tantei-kun had possessed the most uncanny ability to uncover him in his disguises, and therefore Kaito would not take any chances with Meitantei. The detective also had not lost his edge with his soccer ball-as-a-weapon-projectiles – evident from the latest news article – hot off the press when he returned to his original body.

So far avoidance had been easy, as the detective did not make a habit of hanging around campus after classes to socialize, and usually opted to head straight to his dorm to study or to the police station at the bequest of the officers.

However, his luck only lasted a good four weeks into the start of his university career.

And the poor chap had just been walking, minding his own business when it happened.

~Flashback~

"Come on Aoko! It'll be fun! And we've got an hour until your next class, so we have time!"

"Alright. Alright. I'm coming. Geez, you don't have to be such a kid about it... But how are you going to get people to play with us anyway? It won't be much fun with just the two of us." Aoko adjusted her bag on her shoulder as she ran after Kaito.

"You'll see."

They were lucky enough to find an empty patch of grass in the courtyard that had yet to be occupied by lazing students who were hanging around campus. A few shouted invitations – and a banner that magically appeared from a puff of smoke – later, and they had quite a few interested players raring to go.

They managed to get a good fifty minutes of play time when the Frisbee that Kaito threw flew past the players – and into a running passerby, who was immediately knocked onto the ground as the flying object knocked him off his feet. The sound of a secondary collision echoed through the courtyard again when the victim landed head first onto the ground.

~End of Flashback~

-o-

The last thing Shinichi expected to make his already bad day – bad year, in fact – worse, was a flying Frisbee to his head.

And it was not even noon yet.

He had pulled an all-nighter with Division One trying to pin down the murderer of a triple homicide, which had been followed by completing his very tedious tutorial that he had just remembered was due for his class in the morning.

He had barely managed an hour of nap time before his alarm rang, and suddenly he was in a mad scramble to pack his bag – which ended up with all his previously perfect papers getting crumpled, make coffee – which he ended up spilling on himself when he opened his door and bumped into someone walking by, all before rushing to his first class of the day.

There was not any time to change, so it was with uncomfortably warm, wet pants that he ran through campus for his class, only for his journey to be stopped short by a Frisbee, which had knocked him out cold when he ricocheted into the concrete footpath.

If he had known this was going to happen, he would have stayed in bed.

-o-

Kaito found out his victim was none other than Kudo Shinichi _after_ the fact.

When he approached the unmoving figure on the ground, the first thing Kaito noticed was the deep set, dark circles under his eyes and what seemed to be a permanent frown etched on his face.

Even unconscious, the detective seemed to be as stressed out as the rumours made out (read: all those weekly visits to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department with Aoko to pass Nakamouri-Keibu his bento were very helpful in that aspect). It was hard to hide the fact that he was running himself ragged after bringing down some major crime syndicate. It was as if he had something to prove. _Che! Those high-flyers._

Just as he was contemplating calling an ambulance, Kudo pried his eyes open – which were blood-shot and wild. It took a second to gather his wits before he shot up and exclaimed, "Shoot! My class!"

– which he immediately regretted, clutching his head in pain and letting out a 'pained' moan.

 _Okay, forget about what I said about high-flyers. Meitantei looks more like a deranged, high-strung person on the edge of a breakdown..._ _A_ huge _one at that._

"Whoa, whoa! Chill dude, you were knocked out for a minute there after being hit with a Frisbee. I think you better lie down and take it easy."

"No, I need to..." Kudo tried to get up, but immediately collapsed back onto the ground and conceded with a sigh. "Okay, bad idea...Yes, guess you're right..."

"Anyway, sorry about the Frisbee, I didn't mean to throw it so hard." Kaito was ready this time when Kudo tried to get up again, and was there to provide a little support when the detective lost his balance a little and leaned into him.

The rest of the Frisbee crew, including Aoko – that traitor – had immediately left for class once they deemed that Kaito was handling the situation splendidly – _what a cruel, cruel world, to leave a phantom thief in the mercy of a detective who could uncover his secret identity in a jiffy_.

"No it's alright." Kudo waved away Kaito's helping hand when he finally found his balance himself – apparently still trying to act tough even though he was obviously _not_ all right.

"Let me make it up for you. There's a café not too far from here with great coffee."

He really should _not_ ; realistically, he should have been running as far away from the detective as he could. But damn his heart! And he _did_ hit the detective hard enough that Kudo had lost consciousness for a minute there... _  
_  
"Did you say coffee?"

"Yes?" Add to the fact that Kudo still looked rather deranged, it was his duty as an *upright* citizen of Japan to help out another fellow upright citizen... _  
_  
"God, yes please."

… Right...?

-o-

Two cups of coffee, a plate of thick toasted bread and butter, and an ice pack later, the two men sat comfortably in the small coffee shop that was tucked away from the busy foot traffic.

Morning glories decorated the walls in lieu of paint, adding a splash of green and purple against exposed burnt red brick; the bright morning sun filtered through the wide window installed on the ceiling and brightened the whole space without any artificial light. It was a beautiful small enclave of nature that was vastly contrasted the concrete buildings that surrounded the little café .

Though... Meitantei didn't seem to be in any state to enjoy the beauty this place had to offer at the moment, what with the way he was tackling the bread one-handedly with an air of distracted concentration while pressing the ice pack against his bruising head with the other.

 _Now that the detective isn't showing any more signs of head injury other than his bruised head...I should really get going soon…So why am I still there?_ _  
_  
"Okay. Slow down or you'll choke otherwise. You're already going to miss your class anyway, assuming you're rushing for your ten o'clock class. It's already ten past."

It seemed that thought had only just clicked, as the detective had abruptly paused for a good five seconds to truly process the idea before sighing and putting down the toasted bread in his hands. He started chewing again, and this time at a much slower pace than the earlier hurried chomping.

"You're right… It's just that… It's been a busy… week." Kudo trailed off weakly, before taking a swig of the coffee that had long gotten cold.

 _Don't you mean busy_ month _, Meitantei? I reckon five assignments, along with the month-long operation to break up a drug syndicate on top of the weekly murders that you inevitably stumble upon would do anyone in, including you… But not that I should know, of course. Not at all._ _  
_  
"Yes, but still. Just relax. You seem like you could use it, if you don't mind me saying."

"I guess? It's just… I just have so many things to do..." Kudo trailed off in a half-exasperated tone that sounded like he had said it a little too many times for this liking.

 _Good. That means I'm not the only one who'd noticed the detective's one way street to a mega meltdown. Though that begs the questions: why am I worried about Meitantei in the first place?…Oh that's right, I'm just nosy like that._ _  
_  
"Maybe, but no point doing it all if you're just going to end up completely beat at the end of it."

 _Which is where you're headed at this rate, Meitantei._

Kudo responded by merely taking another bite off his toast, which Kaito interpreted – hopefully – as the detective actually considering Kaito's words.

 _He'd better._ Kaito thought as he took sip out of his own coffee.

And since Kaito had let himself be put in this situation – obviously caring far too much more than a mere apologetic stranger would, he might as well go all out – _which means..._ _  
_  
"By the way, I'm Kuroba Kaito."

-o-

He took back whatever he had said about staying in bed today. The stray thought escaped him as Shinichi downed the last drop of his coffee and made his way out of the cafe.

Otherwise, he would have missed the chance to meet Kaitou KID in his real-life identity: Shinichi could recognise the soul behind those eyes anywhere. Wild, crazy, exciting… and yet in possession of an overabundance of abundance of kindness that he would be hard pressed to find in anyone else. Not to mention he had harbored a suspicion on who KID was for quite some time.

… and it probably said how much of a bad state he was in right now if even _Kaitou KID_ had had a word with him about it.

But it was easier said than done, it was not as if the criminals of Tokyo would stop their criminal ways if he just walked up and asked nicely, or as if the professors were going to let him off the hook for not submitting his assignments in time.

Even though Shinichi knew that he had too much on his plate, that he was running himself ragged...

… he just could not bring himself to take it easy. Even with everyone on his back, clamouring for him to take a break.

He did not deserve it.

-o-

It was a baseball that hit Kudo on the head the next time Kaito bumped into the detective a few days later. Granted, this time it was a kid that had made that throw, and it had landed with a soft 'thud' on the detective's head instead of the concussion-inducing smack the Frisbee did a few days earlier.

Kaito had started helping out this particular junior baseball team as part of his attempts to get close to the owner of a prospective Pandora ages ago… and ti turned out that the kids really needed a good coach and he decided to stick around for the long haul. And had he ever mentioned that he was far too soft-hearted for his own good? Well, the world needed it anyway.

He had decided to pick the ball up himself when he saw the police milling around earlier, putting up the bee-coloured tapes instead of sending one of the kids over to get it.

At least the ball had not landed on the copious amounts of blood.

"Sorry about that Kudo! It wasn't me this time, I swear!"

"K-Kuroba-san?" The surprise on Kudo's face accentuated the fatigue and stress on his face much more than the last he saw him, if that was even possible.

A mean feat, since the detective _had_ had a head injury then.

"Sorry! Sorry! It's the first time the kid has ever hit the ball with the bat, didn't know his own strength, that one."

"I-it's alright, it didn't hurt at all this t-time." Though with the way the detective was holding his head, that wasn't the case, at all.

 _Liar_.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am. If you would excuse me, I need to wrap this up. Have a nice day, Kuroba-san."

 _Definitely worse._

And Kaito was going to find out why _._

-o-

"Looks like nothing's changed since the last checkup...Your blood sugar level is still way too low, your heartbeat's still a tad too fast… Blood pressure's too high..."

Haibara pulled at the Velcro, releasing the tight strap of the blood pressure reader. Shinichi shook his hand, trying to get some feeling back into his fingers in an attempt to blatantly ignore Haibara's muttering as she typed her findings on her computer.

"One would think you'd take better care of your health, Kudo-kun, after what so many of us did to keep your sorry ass alive."

Shinichi could not contain the flinch that comment caused, but he kept his silence as he tried to focus on his hand. He had heard so many variations of it that he was finding it hard to care about the bite behind the snark anymore.

Haibara narrowed her eyes when Shinichi failed to respond. "You're fine otherwise. No side effects from the antidote after a year. All other bodily functions are working, even though they're all overworked at the moment." Her glare tripled in force as she steamrolled into her rant.

"And for goodness' sake, eat something other than coffee and convenience store bentos. And I _know_ you have been skipping your meals, Satou-keiji let it slip the other day. You can't afford to lose any more weight – especially after getting back to your original body. And get some sleep. You look like you're going to pass out at any moment."

He knew she meant well, but you would think she would have changed tactics after they had had far too many stalemates of the same conversation. It was not as if he was going to suddenly change.

Not today anyway.

"You can't keep going on like this, Kudo-kun." This time, it came out in an uncharacteristic concern.

"I'll manage, Haibara. Don't worry about me."

"Well, you aren't 'managing' it, Kudo-kun. I've got Hattori and Mouri-chan calling me to ask about you. And they were all worried when I told them there's nothing wrong with the antidote."

Silence blanketed the whole room again and this time, it got stifling all of the sudden. Shinichi needed to get out of there – needed to get away from there.

Fast.

"Kudo-kun."

"Alright, alright, geez. I get it… can I go now?"

"Fine. Just remember to take that bag with you. It's a whole week's worth of food – and try to finish them before they go bad this time, will you?"

"Okay. I'll try."

Haibara pressed her lips together, unhappy with the lack of promise but knew that she was not going to get more out of him. "You better. Now shoo. I know you're just itching to get out of here." She hopped off her chair and they made their way to the front door.

"Same time next month?" She asked when they reached the entrance.

He nodded in agreement, stepping out of the house and opened the umbrella he had brought with him; the rain was still pouring as hard as when he first arrived. "I'll let you know if anything comes up."

She snorted. "Something always comes up with you."

That… was quite true. Not that Shinichi was going to acknowledge the fact. He turned to walk away. "Say 'Hello', to the professor for me."

"Kudo-kun."

Shinichi paused, stilling just at the edge of the porch where the rain was splattering on the front half of the umbrella.

"You know it's not your fault."

He stood, rooted for a long moment before continuing on his way as if he had never heard her in the first place.

Because it was...

It was all his fault.

-o-

This time, Kudo would have been hit square in the face and landed himself a trip to the emergency room if Kaito had not decided to take a shortcut on the way to back to his apartment.

And something needed to be done with the detective, who had been so distracted that he had not noticed the blatantly panicked, "Watch out!" or that he was walking into the path of the deathtrap soccer ball. (And this was a guy who had been able to spot laser beams from sniper rifles and who was always very aware of when someone would stare at the back of his head from twenty feet away.)

Kaito registered all of this as he threw himself at the detective, pushing him down to the ground, just barely avoiding the ball. He could feel the wave of air pressure as the ball shot pass them.

 _Dammit Meitantei! What's got you so out of whack?_ _  
_  
They crashed onto the hard ground, and skidded across the gravel for a distance more before the dying momentum brought them to a halt. The files that Kudo had been cradling had scattered on the ground and it was only with Lady Luck's blessing that there was not any wind that would have blown the loose papers away.

 _Really, it's time someone did something about this._

"God dammit Meitantei! What happened that's so bad that it's gotten you in such a state?!" He could not help but hiss as he lifted himself up from the skinny frame beneath him.

 _Damn, and has he been starving himself as well?!_

Alarmingly, the detective remained unresponsive even after he propped himself up into a sitting position – it was as if his mind was in another place altogether.

"Kudo?" He approached the detective again after he had smoothed things over with the soccer players.

"KID?" Only then did Kudo's eyes spark with recognition as he lifted his head to meet his eyes. And in them, Kaito could only see overwhelming sorrow, guilt, helplessness.

Somehow, the fact that the detective had uncovered his identity did not seem as important reaching out to those blue eyes crying for help.

Not anymore.

Kaito let out a sigh and said, "Let's get you out of here to somewhere comfortable, shall we?"

-o-

After the second encounter with the detective, who looked dead on his feet, Kaito had taken it upon himself – damn his bleeding heart, seriously! – to find out the root of the detective's apparent depression.

So far, nothing had turned up in his research that could bring the detective to such state.

Not his big case with the crime syndicate that Snake had been affiliated with; nothing before or after his time as Tantei-kun. Not even his not-relationship with Mouri Ran, which he found out from the reliable Suzuki-chan, had ended amicably, if distant.

(Then again, he only had time to go through the official reports, so that was not surprising that he did not find anything with the lack of details that usually plagued the police reports.)

Meitantei was sitting on his old second-hand couch, which the detective had sunk into when he sat down – not that he seemed to notice. In his rattled state, the detective had thrown away all propriety and had pulled his legs towards himself, hugging them as he gazed into the steaming mug of tea on the stool that doubled as a coffee table.

Something really bad must have happened though. And it looked as though Kaito needed to find out straight from the source.

"So... what happened?" Kaito asked, pulling his study chair to the other side of the makeshift coffee table.

"Why do you want to know, KID?" It came out too quick, flat and rehearsed. He was stalling.

"Would you believe me if I told you that you look so out of it that you've even got _me_ concerned about you?" _And isn't that the truth?_

As expected, Meitantei stilled, clamming up and remaining silent.

"Look, even if you don't want to tell me about it, at least –" Kaito stopped short as Kudo interrupted.

"I screwed up." It came out soft and seemingly choked with anguish. As if it had not been real until he admitted it out loud. "As Conan. I screwed up." the detective clarified. By now Kudo was shaking rather badly before he caught himself. With clenched fists and jaw, he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to steady his breathing and contain the shiver that had suddenly taken over.

"Go on." prompted Kaito, when it looked like Kudo finally managed to calm down.

It took a long while, and then, as if Kudo finally made a decision, took a deep breath to brace himself and plunged on.

"It's… If it's weren't for me… if I hadn't...Takagi-keiji... He paid the price for my mistake."

~Flashback~

 _It all happened so fast._ _  
_ _  
_ _One moment they were en route to a safehouse where the FBI and PSB were coordinating their final strike against the Black Organisation, and the next moment, there was a loud bang and the car swiveled._ _  
_ _  
_ _He had not seen what had caused James Black, ever brilliant behind the wheels, to lose control of the car. All he knew was that the impact had been huge, and that he would have crashed through the windscreen if it were not for the seatbelts_ – _an easy feat since he still had the stature of a midget – as the car skidded into the sand-filled barrels that lined the pier._ _  
_ _  
_ _When Conan regained his bearings and opened his eyes…_

 _There was a gun, right in front of his face. Gin towered over him, flicking the safety off._ _  
_ _  
_ _He could practically hear the smirk in his voice, and it sent chills down his spine. It was like the nightmare that kept replaying in his dreams had finally come true._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Well, too bad kid. It didn't have to be this way, if you had just kept your nose out of this when you had your chance."_ _  
_ _  
_ _Was it going to just end like this for him?_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Sayonara...Kudo Shinichi."_ _  
_ _  
_ _No! How did he_ – _  
_ _  
_ _Two loud gun-shots later, all Conan could see was blood._ _  
_ _  
_ _Blood that was pouring out from the short black hair that had not – should not_ – _have been there in the first place. Red, thick liquid that slowly flowed out of_ – _  
_ _  
_ _"Takagi-keiji!"_ _  
_  
~End of Flashback~

"And he's been in a coma ever since. I thought he'd be alright at first… But it's been a year, exactly one year since…" Shinichi hitched on his breath and tried to articulate the rest of his thought before his words failed him.

"If it weren't for me… If it weren't for me… He wouldn't have… It was supposed to be me..."

Kudo put his head in his hands, the words coming out mumbled between his palms as he became incoherent.

But it did nothing to hide the guilt that laced his every word, the phantom pain he felt with every breath he took as the detective became increasingly hysterical in his narration.

 _And wasn't this so screwed up?_ _It's not like Meitantei could go to a psychologist for something that happened to Tantei-kun..._

"It wasn't your fault."

 _It really wasn't his fault._

"Yes it was! If I hadn't been an arrogant smart-arse shit… If I hadn't gone after them…"

And just like that, Kudo choked again as a lone tear – perhaps the only time he had allowed himself to cry – trickled down his cheek And like a trigger, it was followed by streams that gushed out.

"It wasn't your fault." Kaito repeated, putting his arm around the detective, providing comfort in he only way he knew how. And Kudo immediately clung to him as if his life depended on it.

"It wasn't your fault."

-o-

Shinichi did not know what to do with himself now that he was here, in the hospital.

At Takagi-keiji's bedside.

For the very first time.

After that 'episode' at Kuroba's apartment – and God! _That_ had been embarrassing, breaking down in front of Kaitou KID of all people – Shinichi had managed to calm down after a few more cups of tea.

(He had needed that cry, he would admit as much. And at least Kaitou KID was not the worst person he could have broken down before.)

He had left after he had managed to compose himself, which had taken quite a while. Shinichi did not remember much of it as he had been rather dazed and unbalanced, but he did remember Kuroba's parting advice.

 _"You should do what you want to do, because you've got to be able to live with yourself at the end of the day."_

Which was why his feet had led him to Takagi's hospital room, despite him not having a single clue what to do now that he was here.

(And because if he did not do it now, he probably would never be able to bring himself to do it again.)

He really did not know what he was supposed to do, so he did the only thing that came to him.

Besides, had not KID advised him to do things he would not regret? (though not in so many words)

"Hey, Takagi-Keiji. I'm Kudo Shinichi… I worked with you in a couple of cases before I… disappeared. I know this is quite sudden. I mean, we barely had the chance to talk to one another… but here I am...

"There's a reason why I came by to visit...you wouldn't believe, But I promised to tell you about it when we made it to the other side. Well, I reckon this is a good interpretation of it… Anyway, I am sure you remember that time where you got stuck on the elevator at Touto Tower with Conan and the mercury bomb, right? Actually..."

-o-

That took him out more than he had thought it would.

By the time Shinichi finished his narrative, three hours had passed. It was only then that he realised that his throat was sore and his body stiff from remaining in the same posture.

Regardless, it was the best thing Shinichi had done. He found it easier to breathe as the words had spilled out of him. The weight lifted off his shoulders a little and for once, he felt lighter. Maybe–

Shinichi hitched, the sight of Satou-keiji caught him by surprise.

The assistant inspector was sitting by the visitors' bench that was placed outside the room, her arms folded as she gazed intently at the ground. She must have been keeping an eye on Takagi-keiji's room with her peripheral view, because as soon as Shinichi opened the door, her eyes snapped up, her gaze straight at him.

For a moment, he felt as though she had seen through him with her sharp eyes, the Satou-keiji he had seen so many times as Conan on a chase.

Then, it disappeared as quickly as it came as her eyes softened and she called out.

"Kudo-kun."

"Ah… Satou-keiji. Hmmm… I'm sorry, for being in there for so long, I didn't realise you were here – " he cut himself off when she raised her hand and gave him a soft smile.

"It's okay Kudo-kun. I'm sure Takagi-kun appreciates the company. God knows I'm the only one who visits often."

"Yeah, I guess I should have visited sooner." Just as he was about to leave and bid a good night…

"Are you in a rush?" Satou-keiji asked, all of the sudden.

"Hmm, no. I'm not." _Curses._

"Would you like to go to the cafeteria with me to grab a bite?"

"Don't you want to visit Takagi-keiji?"

"It's okay, I heard from the nurse that you have been there since two, three hours ago? I'm sure Takagi-kun could use the break before I run his ear off again." She laughed at her own joke, though her laughter was slightly more hollow than what he was used to as she led him to the cafeteria.

-o-

Like the good detective she was, Satou jumped straight to the point once they settled nicely with their steaming cup of tea.

"You're Conan-kun, aren't you?" Any other explanation would not make sense, even if this one was barely comprehensible.

It was interesting to see that Kudo recognised it in himself, that he had paused a second too long. Long enough that his delayed response was as good a confirmation as any. "How did – ? When did – ?" he brought his hands to rub his eyes, making him ten years older than he looked.

"Well, to be honest? Not until I saw you just then. Everything just clicked into place, like that." She snapped her fingers for emphasis.

 _It was the eyes,_ Satou thought, _that clued me in. It was exactly like Conan-kun when I found him at the scene soaked in Takagi's_ –

It was full of anguish and sorrow and guilt – she had seen it in the mirror too many times not to recognise it.

(She had taken a shot at the man only known as Gin, just as Takagi lunged out to shield Conan-kun, hoping to prevent the inevitable. Unfortunately, it had only hit the gunman on the wrist, causing him to jerk slightly as he pulled the trigger, enough to veer the course of the metal projectile to graze the brain instead of the instant kill it should have been. But the blood lost and the fractured pieces from the skull had punctured some parts of his brain – had been enough to send the Takagi into a coma.)

She would do anything to get rid of that look on his face.

"Co-Kudo-kun, you _do_ know that it wasn't your fault, right?"

Shinichi took a deep breath, "Everyone keeps saying that, but I guess, it just isn't sinking in yet, and – "

"You don't think it ever will unless you hear it from Takagi-kun himself?"

There was a pause, before Kudo replied with a hesitant, "Yeah." As if he had not reconciled everything in his head yet.

"Funny, I feel the exact same way."

"What?! But you – "

"Every single day, I wished that I had pulled the trigger faster, before the man could fire the shot, or let Takagi-kun take the wheel instead, so that I could be the one shielding you instead , or –"

"But it's not your – "

"My fault? I know. But doesn't change the way I feel about it. Not until I see Takagi-kun wake up."

Kudo looked down at his lukewarm green tea, at a loss as to what to say now that their positions were reversed. But she didn't blame him. He was the only other person who would understand how she felt at the moment, and' even she was not sure how to seek solace herself either.

"You know, just between Takagi-kun and I, we called you our 'Guardian Angel', you know?"

"What?!" Disbelief splashed his face at the bombshell that had landed in his lap.

"I'm sure you've heard from the precinct gossip how Conan-kun was referred to as a Shinigami. Well, we never saw it that way, especially since we know how many more lives were saved because of you."

"But I've never… "

"Oh, then who was the little boy who diffused the mercury bomb and solved the obscure clue that saved the whole Tokyo from being blown up to little bits?"

"Erm."

"Or the boy who managed to enlist the help of the famed Kaitou KID and stopped a bio-terrorist attack?"

"But it wasn't – "

"Semantics. Or who was the – "

"Okay! Okay! I get it… It's just, I don't think I deserve to be called… that."

"Just because you don't feel like it, doesn't mean you deserve it any less."

"I guess… Thanks." He smiled tentatively as a token of appreciation.

 _Finally, he has finally loosened up a little. Good. Now for the next part..._

"Anyway, I read an article the other day about..."

-o-

"How have you been, Shinichi?" Ran started once she had settled herself onto her seat at the small cozy cafe that Shinichi had insisted had great food and coffee. Even though it was a little out of the way for her, she did not regret it upon seeing the unique mash of nature and architecture.

(There was also the fact that Shinichi hardly ever recommended any food places, so it must have been really good.)

"I'm getting better." Good. He knew by now not to say he was fine when he was clearly not, though she gave him a hard stare for good measure. "Really, I am. How about you?"

(Shinichi's new friend, Kuroba Kaito, had gotten everyone close to the detective to not accept any variations of 'I'm fine' from him. And Shinichi had always been quick on the uptake, and had started to give more honest answers – finally!)

Ran had just started meeting up with Shinichi again six months ago. The last time she properly spoke to him was the last day of high school.

She had not recognised the shell of a man that had come back from the covert underground war that never left a hint of its existence. She had not understood – had not wanted to understand – what could have caused such a drastic change in her best friend-slash-love interest, too eager to start something with the person she had been putting her life on hold for. She was even ready to forgive and let go of the hurt from the lies that shielded her away from danger – something he had freely admitted to once he had returned for good.

When it had finally dawned on her that there was something else wrong, she had been heartbroken, thinking that it must have been her fault. So she had decided to end it.

How could she have a proper relationship with someone who might as well be a stranger?

In retrospect, now that she looked back and analysed the situation with a clear mind, there had been something eating away at Shinichi. And she had left him to fend for himself. She had not realised this until she passed by him in university one day so many months later and noticed how much of a skeleton he had morphed into.

And not just metaphorically.

She had only been clued in on the reason by Ai-chan, whom she had gotten very close to in an ironic twist of faith, when she asked about it.

Too bad her insecurities had blinded her until it was too late, and she had not been able to be the friend she had wanted to be.

Thank goodness for Kuroba though.

The magician had miraculously brought Shinichi out of his pit of despair. While there was still a long way to go before he fully recovered, meeting him today with that excited gleam in his eye – this was the closest she had seen him to being as carefree and at peace as the time before he had disappeared and taken up the role of Edogawa Conan.

"I'm glad."

"Huh." And was that not typical Shinichi? He had not even realised she had not been listening while he rattled her ear off on his science experiments that had been imperative to solving one of his latest cases. Just as well things had not worked out between them, since he would have likely needed someone who could appreciate his intense compulsive streak.

 _Not to mention I can't take his kind of dinner conversation for very long._

She had not yet had the chance to meet Kuroba in real-life before, only conversing through text messages to coordinate a couple of things for Shinichi. But from the praises she heard Kuroba, she could not wait for the day to finally meet the man who had saved her friend.

"I'm just glad that you're all better now."

"Thanks Ran. I'm glad that you're happier now too. I'm so –"

"It's okay Shinichi. I think it's best if we let that particular sleeping dog lie sleeping dog lie."

"Okay."

She could not be his partner in life anymore – that ship had long since sailed. But she would be damned if would not she do everything in her power to be the best friend she had failed to be before.

"But you can make it up to me by introducing your boyfriend to me~"

Shinichi, like every other time before this, blushed redder than roses and squawked, "Ran! We're not – ! It's not like that."

-o-

 _Thank you - KS_ _  
_  
Kaito had stared at the text message for a long while, racking his brain. There was nothing that came to mind that would warrant such an abrupt message from Shinichi. Wrong number, perhaps?

Then, a ping came a second later just before he could finish composing his message.  
 _  
_ _Just met up with Ran. And what we discussed made me realise that I never thanked you. For pulling me back, for being there for me, even though you didn't have to. - KS_ _  
_  
A fuzzy feeling warmed his heart and stuck in his throat, and he felt seconds away from tearing up, touched by Shinichi's gesture. It was geeky and some way cold, but it was so typical Shinichi be could not help but smile.  
 _  
_ _So, thank you. Just thought I'd let you know now. And I wasn't sure if I should call. Just in case you've decided to 'experiment' during your lab period. - KS_ _  
_  
Kaito barely managed to contain his laughter, though he had let slip a smirk that was followed by the sound of a couple of chairs being scooted away from him in a hurry.

He had never thought in a million years how much richer his life would become when he had extended a helping hand to a detective in need. To have his friendship returned threefold, to have someone to support him in his aspirations, to be able to honest without the fear of reprisals, to be with someone who he could wholeheartedly be true to himself... He was sure that he had gained so much more than what he had given to the detective.

To even be able to find someone who could understand him so well – to a level that even Aoko or his mother hadn't been able to achieve – It was a one in a million chance that he _knew_ was a gift from Lady Luck.

He would have done it again in a heartbeat.

There was so much he wanted to say in return. Instead, he decided to settle for a simple...

 _What are friends for, if not that? ^.^ This is the one thing you will never have to thank me for. - KK_

Because it all came down to that, did it not? Not when he had gained so much more in return.

 _You heading to the hospital to see Takagi-keiji now? - KK_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yes. I'll see you after at six. - KS_

-o-

"Takagi-keiji, how are you today?" Shinichi asked as he sat down on the chair with the cushioning somehow modeled to his torso - , which was not surprising considering how often he came by to visit. The young man's voice was cheery and upbeat, as if he had expected an answer to the man who had laid unmoving for the past two years.

While people had questioned him when he first started visiting the comatose hero a few months ago – after all, Kudo Shinichi had not interacted much with Takagi before his disappearance, let alone become close enough to visit the man with such an unexplained, guilt-stricken expression on his face – those inquiries eventually died down as the young man's presence became commonplace and when Satou-keiji seemed to accept his presence as a given.

(There were rumours floating about the precinct for the reason of those visits whenever Shinichi was unable to give a satisfactory explanation from ever-nosy police offices, some closer to the truth than others. However, Shinichi did not care, so long as they did not affect his visits to the hospital).

He hoped Takagi-keiji would be able to hear him, talking to him like this. Maybe it would provide Takagi-keiji with an incentive to wake up, what with the big revelations Shinichi had shared with him from the past year.

If he woke up.

It was not as if Shinichi had anything to lose.

"Anyway, as for me. Kaito's… been great. I think it's been a year, maybe? Since I first met him? In fact, I just moved into the new place I was telling you about, that my parents bought… Funny thing, not even an hour after the day I signed the papers, I went back to the apartment and found Kaito had already moved into the apartment and everything he owned was already unpacked.

"I'm glad he did it though, even though he didn't ask and gave him an earful about it. I… I never got used to it – living alone, I mean. I found that out when I moved into the dorm by myself – especially after living with the Mouris for two years. I missed that...

"Ah well, Kaito probably did it so that he could continue his mother-henning ways. But it's really funny, seeing the whole apartment unfurnished except for his room. But don't tell Kaito I said that; he'll never let me live it down..."

Shinichi reached out to the bedside table, took the book laying there and flipped to the dog-eared page.

"That's all the updates I have for this week... Okay, let's see where were we at… Looks like someone came and read a couple of chapters to you. Was it Satou-keiji?"

He had worked with Satou-keiji, on this brain-child of hers after that little revelation the first day he visited Takagi-keiji. Satou-keiji was the only other person who had been informed of the 'Conan's situation'.

(He suspected that she might have known the truth for a while despite her admitting to only realising it that very day, especially when he had accidentally slipped on some things that only Conan would have known – and Shinichi had never gotten the hang of being covert for long periods of time.)

Shinichi had wholeheartedly jumped to Satou-keiji's little plan to try to wake the comatose detective up – and she was very grateful that there was someone else who cared as much for Takagi-keiji other than her. Despite the lack of concrete research on the matter, there had been an increasing number of reports on the usefulness of talking to comatose patients. And between the both of them, they had managed to rope in Chiba-keiji, Megure-keibu and even Shiratori-keibu into helping them.

"Now, where did she leave off – "

"Co… Co… Co..."

Shinichi could feel his heartbeat accelerate exponentially, his hands clammy all of the sudden. He could not bring himself to inhale as his whole body shook. The book slipped out of his loose grip and fell onto the ground, half-opened, cracking the spine. But Shinichi did not care.  
 _  
_ _Because… because..._

"Takagi-Keiji?"

 _He was not dreaming, was he?_

"Conan…-kun."

"Takagi-keiji! Just hold on a sec. Let me..." It took three tries before Shinichi managed to press the call button. Soon, he found himself shaking after being shuffled out of the room when the medical staff poured into the room, checking up on the medical miracle that was Takagi Wataru.

 _Finally, after everything we did..._

 _Finally._

As he took out his phone and scrolled to his contact for Satou-keiji with shaky hands, Shinichi finally managed to let go of the breath that he had been holding for the past two years. He could feel a warmth radiating within him that was not entirely made up of the blood flowing through his veins as he shared the good news.  
 _  
_ _Thank god._

-o-

It was weird to wake up and find that he had missed two years of his life. However, regardless of the disorientation, Takagi Wataru was glad to be alive.

He had been so sure he died that day when he took the bullet to his head. So missing out on a couple of years was nothing compared to his life in the grand scheme of things – when compared to what he could have lost.

(Really, Satou-san – or Miwako, his brain helpfully supplied, he had better get used to calling her that, since he had just asked her to marry him the moment he had set eyes on her when he woke up from his coma – could have moved on, since the chances of him waking up from the coma had not been high. Or, he could have woken up with amnesia and everything he had worked so hard for would have gone down the drain. Or, he could have had a personality change so drastic that no one would be able to recognise him anymore. )

Sure, there were some things he had to relearn, catch up on, and get used to, and it would be an uphill battle to get back to where he had been before.

But Takagi Wataru was nothing if not adaptable, even if it would take some time to adjust and absorb.

Like how he knew the plotline of the long awaited 'Detective Samouji: The End of Times' even though it had been realised six months back and he definitely could not have read it before. ( _That_ took him by surprise when it came up mid-discussion with Chiba-kun.)

Or how he knew that Shiratori-san had tied the knot with Kobayashi-sensei. (That was expected; he would actually have been disappointed if that had not happened.)

Or like the fact that Edogawa Conan was actually Kudo Shinichi, the esteemed Detective of the East. (Okay, this one took the cake.. .and he would need a lot more time – and evidence – to process _this_ mind-blowing fact.)

That little tidbit stuck in his mind stronger than candy floss on children. He could not for the life of him remember where he had learned that piece of information; it sounded more like something that the Division guys would come up with while drunk at one of those after hours police gatherings that had all attendees swearing to secrecy the day after.

Miwako had shared as much as she could in between work and his therapy and getting out of the hospital. But he still had so many questions. And even though there was so many details that could be answered in his own head, there was a difference between knowing and actually _knowing_.

But Kudo had not visited ever since the day he woke up and called the young man by his pseudonym.

He hoped he had not freaked the young man out (Miwako had assured him that was not the case), because if those little out-of-place facts that he remembered with such clarity were true… then they were long overdue for a talk.

Not just to sate his curiosity, but it was not as if Kudo could consult a psychologist about his problem, and half hiding the truth just to seek treatment… that would be a waste of everyone's time. Well, he might not be the most qualified person… but it would be better than nothing.

It was okay though, Takagi Wataru was a patient man. He could wait.

A soft chime brought him out of his musing ( _had his doorbell always sounded like that?)_. He had just gotten home a couple of weeks ago and was still getting used to being back in his humble abode. He had not been expecting anyone to come by to visit; Miwako and the rest of the crew were still on shift, and his parents had just left a couple of hours ago after he had finally managed to assure them he that was fine.

Takagi went to open the door, and speak of the devil...

"Co… Kudo-kun? How can I help you?"

 _Oops, hadn't meant to slip up again._ _  
_  
"Takagi-keiji..." It was only from countless interactions with Conan-kun that he was able to tell that Kudo was nervous, even though he could hardly ever remember seeing the young boy (or was it man?) ever being in that particular emotional state. The clenched jaws and that slight twitch on his left pinky. "I'm sorry for intruding, I… I hope you are well. Satou-keiji mentioned that you – "

Takagi Wataru was a patient man, but he also knew when to push.

"Want to talk? Well, I knew she wouldn't have been able to help herself. I have been meaning to talk to you, but you never visited anymore." Kudo flinched. Oops, he had not meant to do that either. "Come in. Come in, make yourself at home."

-o-

Two cups of tea later and silence reigned over them.

Okay… He would admit that even though he had wanted to talk to Kudo, he had not really planned beyond getting the boy to come and visit… Maybe he should go straight for the big guns...

"So how are things going, Kudo-kun?"

 _Or not._

"Oh… hmmm. It's good. I'm in my second year in University. Studying – "

"Forensic Science and Psychology?"

"Yes. That." And again, silence blanketed the whole room again. But it quickly ended when Kudo took the plunge.

"So you know about Conan… About me being him." It came out hesitant and tentative.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." That came out soft and meek and apologetic.

"Wha?" What for?

"I'm sorry." This time it was louder.

"No! Ahhhhh. I mean… What you're apologising for?"

"If it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't have…"

"Hey, it's not your fault, you know that right? If it makes any difference, you're forgiven, though really, there's nothing to forgive in the first place."

Just with that, he could almost see the guilt, the pain, and the sorrow in Kudo's eyes being washed away with the tears that was now trickling down his cheeks. The emotions within his eyes were replaced with relief, calm and tranquility – and maybe, even a tinge of happiness – that finally reflected his actual age.

Takagi had felt slightly off balance ever since he woke up from his coma, as if there had been something missing – and it had been nagging at him.

Now, with Kudo being here, with them speaking from their hearts, it finally hit home what had been misplaced in his life. It was weirdly comforting, soothing, and at the back of his mind, it felt as though the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle had been snapped right into place.

For now, all was right in his world.

-o-

Owari

 **And here's a little extra:**

Omake

-o-

"I'm home."

"Welcome home, Shini – Is that a cat?" Kaito asked as he put down the frying pan and approached the tiny creature that was nestled comfortably in the bulky box that he had been carrying.

"Yeah well..."

~Flashback~

 _"I always knew there was something different about you."_ _  
_ _  
_ _The conversation between them had lasted well into the evening. This had been much better than the one-sided conversations he had had with a comatose Takagi. He would definitely have to come and visit him soon – it was rare to find someone who he was able to converse with as freely, and who would share a similar sense of humour. The things he learned every day._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Yeah, I should have picked up acting from my mother."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Well! Thank you for coming. You free to come down next week? I think Miwako's organising dinner with the team."_ _  
_ _  
_ _Before Shinichi could give his reply, the doorbell rang. Takagi, who had his hand on the door handle, opened the door on reflex, and they were treated to the sight of the most adorable kitten staring up at them with its big golden eyes._ _  
_  
~End of Flashback~

"So the neighbour's boy found the kitten and was looking for someone to adopt since his mother wouldn't let him to keep it?" Kaito summarised.

"Yes."

"Well, are you sure we could keep her?" he asked, eyeing the adorable feline with apprehension.

"Of course, Sumiko-san from unit three-twelve owns three cats, so I don't see why we can't keep Midori-chan."

"Ehh? You named her already?"

"Yes. Midori for green, after Anne Katharine Green. Takagi-keiji said it was a very nice name. So..."

"Awwww, I'm hurt that I didn't get to be part of the naming process." Kaito dramatically clutched his heart and slowly slid down the side of the cabinet before righting himself immediately. "Anyway how do you know Sumiko-san has three cats?"

"By the amount of cat fur she had on her black tights, and with all the cat knick knacks she keeps on her keychain."

"Ah..."

"If it makes you feel better, I can ask the building manager now."

Shinichi pivoted and headed for the door. But as he started to make his way to the elevator, there was the sound of a door slamming shut accompanied by the jingle of key and quick light footsteps catching up to him.

And there Kaito was, having caught up with him, cradling the kitten on his chest.

"Where are you going with Midori-chan?"

"Following you of course, and you've got to bring the cat along. How are you going to make your case it you don't use the power of the cat's cuteness to your advantage?"

"Okay okay. Come on. Make sure you don't let her go. I don't want to be running after her."

"Of course~!"

-o-

owari

Please review if you like this fic!


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